I'm the other mother - or Momma Deb. Our family is pretty much like every other family in suburbia. The girls go to school, one mom is on the PTA boards of elementary and middle school. The other mom goes to work, paints, writes, and tries to just have a good time raising kids with her partner. This is my third attempt at blogging...

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

DP Benes and North Carolinia

Now I know that some of you may live in or near North Carolina. I have never been fortunate enough to visit that fine state. I am certain it has a beauty all its own.

But I am so glad that we do not live there. We are so lucky to live in California where our family is accepted so readily that there's nary a blink of an eye. I like it that way. We're nondescript, not all that different from most anyone else on our suburban street. Even in business, or dealings with the medical community, it's nothing to get worked up about.

So, it came as a jarring reality to me that outside of California there are millions of people who do not enjoy the rights we enjoy in the Golden State. Yesterday I spent half a work day filling out forms, compiling copies of forms, getting signatures notarized and finally sending everything via FedEx to my new employer in North Carolina. All was well until they noticed I had neglected to send along 3 of 6 items requested to "prove" our Domestic Partnership.
NC has a law banning same-sex marriage, but hiring outside the state, they do allow that there are Domestic Partnerships. I haven't had to prove this for at least 10 years, other than by stipulating our partnership, etc. They won't even accept a California DP certificate, and of course they don't recognize same-sex marriage in California.

We sent our co-registered car registration, copy of a Power of Attorney dated 1994, and a copy of our joint checking account deposit slip. If that verifies our domestic bliss, it seems to me anyone could comply with items such as these and claim benefits.

If states would just see the legal light and give us the same right to marriage as strayt couples, the states would benefit, they could claim to be going "green" by eliminating unnecessary paperwork, lawyers might have to find another revenue stream to support their accustomed lifestyle, and we could all just get on with the business of living.

As a side note, I noticed that the wedding industry in San Francisco has experienced a lot of growth in the last month. All those new gay weddings require flowers, invitations, dinners, suits, dresses, wedding planners, cakes... the list goes on ad infinitum. At least one industry is having a boon!